Epic Fail

Confessions…

EPIC FAIL

I’d booked in for a bikini wax, nothing out of the ordinary. Not my first time either. Im sat waiting and the receptionist informs me that I am entitled to some free sun bed minutes. I am the first to admit I am pasty. However, I prefer the phrase “pale and interesting”. I never use sun beds and I rarely use fake tan. I was waiting and I thought “why not can't hurt.” I have the sun bed, I feel relaxed. 

I go for my wax…

If you ever saw 40 year old virgin you will understand when I say Andy was a lion compared to me. I was squeezing, clutching onto the side of the salon bed. Profanities flying every where. Deep breathing like a mother on one born every minute. Needless to say I persevered and I got to the end. It was such a terrible wax. I drive to my mums for lunch. As I get out the car I can see my mother bemused, confused, staring at me. She calls out for the whole street to hear “ Oi, why you walking like John Wayne shit him self?” 

I explained the “hollywood” 

Later in the lunch she says to me “babe you do look a little red, everything ok?” By this point I've stood up and lifted my top to expose a red lobster belly. My mother cries out in surprise to the deep maroon burns covering my body. “How on earth has this happened?” I  explained my sun bed, and then it clicked. I had managed to get sun burt and then straight away wax my skin! I ended up wearing loose dresses and aloe vera for what felt like the next time I was due for a wax. Lesson to all, sun beds are never a good idea!